Wow. I’m getting married tomorrow. I can’t believe it’s here! Lauren is out with her mother doing last minute (day) stuff. I just finished writing my vows. It’s kind of surreal. So many emotions going through my mind.
I was married once before, and it was absolutely horrible. It was the worst 15 months of my life. I got married for the wrong reasons and it was a complete failure. I never thought I would ever get married again.
Meeting Lauren was the best thing that ever happened to me. Although the first year or 2 we were just friends, but growing closer every day. She frequently asked why we didn’t date, and I quickly shot her down because I was scared. For so many reasons. I was scared of what people would think and I was scared that I was not strong enough to be in a relationship with someone that was disabled like she was. I couldn’t see past the chair. But as our friendship grew, I realized that she was an amazing girl in every way, and that chair just kind of faded away. She was not a girl in a wheelchair, she was this amazing person that I was damn privileged to have in my life. She became my confidant and my rock. She gives me so much happiness and fulfillment in my life, that the only way I can ever begin to repay her is to devote my life to taking care of her and making her happy. And it’s been the best time of my life.
Am I scared of the future? Hell yes! I’m afraid of not being good enough for her and that I can’t take care of her the way she deserves. I’m still learning every day how to care for her. She is my precious. I want only the very best for her. So I learn how to do hair. And I constantly try to come up with new awesome things to cook for her. But I’m afraid that I’m going to mess up. She is so patient with me and I just want to give her the best life that I can. Am I Going to give it everything i have? You betcha!
So yeah, we have the rehearsal in 3 hours. Wish me luck. I’ll be a married man by the time I post again.
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